Man, I feel like a good chunk of summer is gone. What have I been doing? Where have I been? When did it fly by?
There is only a week left of school which I am grateful. That will save me some gas, I guess, but not really. I still have work some days, which is good because I am poor.
So I have learned quite a lot this summer, nothing earth-shattering but still knowledge about me.
- i can't brush my teeth with hot water. it's just too awkward for me.
- i hate the smell of plastic food containers
- i get bored while driving
- speed limits are overrated (i shouldnt have said that, that's going to come back and bite me in the ass with a speeding ticket)
- i love santana row
- i missed the bay area (santa cruz is NOT part of the bay area)
- i have less tolerance for people (if you didnt really know me before college, i was very nurturing, and always trying to please people. now its not that i dont care about others, i am just not as nurturing and accomidating.)
- remind me never to cut my hair this short.
- i am officially a mac person
- i love chillmusic concerts
- i think way too much (and not in a good way)
You would think a year is a long enough time, wouldn't you? I would. I figured it would be. OH! And I figured out I do have an excuse; not that it makes it okay or any better. But I did have a reason. It's not like it even worked anyways. So this is poopyfaced. I feel like I am in the same position that I was in around this time last summer. And a year has passed. Why can't I change or something make me want to change?
I am not even sure what I want. There are times when I think I want someone, when really I know I don't. It's just too much time, and too much effort and I think I am scared. You know? Which I guess is normal, but I know sooner or later I have to get over it. What even makes this person so great that they could do this to me? HUH? I thought I am suppose to be strong. It's so much easier to be strong when it's not your problem. When it's actually happening to you, you don't listen. In fact, you refuse to listen. And even though you ask people and they tell you the right choice/idea, you don't follow it because you refuse to believe it. I know that happens. When I ask for advice, I already know what the right answer is, I am just waiting and hoping you're going to tell me what I want to hear.
I want to be over it. I really do. I am just not sure how to go about this whole over it thing. I tried. TRUST ME, I tried. And it's not like anything would happen. So why can't I let it go?
I know what I don't want. I don't want a buddy. I don't want a relationship. I do, some day, want to find a boy who will make me want to be in a relationship. I want someone who is going to challenge me. Someone who won't just give in.
catwoman. the end.
i am annoyed of people. i feel like its the time of the month. if this is too much information. you shouldnt be reading this. some people are just stupid. like where do they come up with the stuff that comes out of their mouths? sometimes i just want to say, "SHUT UP TO THE WORLD"
i feel like this is my emo-est moment. please disregard.
i just dont want write my essay due in 10 hours.
